I don't really like the gtk engines designed to make them look like the current qt theme. I mostly use qtcurve for KDE4, and the gtk engine doesn't use the color scheme. It only uses the dull grey menu bar. To make synaptic use the exact theme you are using, just copy your .gtkrc-2.0-kde4 file to your root directory since synaptic is run by root.
I have only tested this with qtcurve.
Code:
sudo cp .gtkrc-2.0-kde4 /root/.gtkrc-2.0
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