Must be a road problem

[MadMage999]

From netcraft:

[vinnywright]

that's the forum alright

VINNY

[Qqmike]

Funny stuff, for sure . (And it didn't even make me hungry--had pizza last night and Chinese tonight! Roads were clear both times ... )
Maybe this should be posted where we give advice to (new) users on how to post their questions--we may have more than one such guide, though.

[GreyGeek]

My favorite, from 21 years ago:



“Word Perfect Technical support; may I help you?” “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
“What sort of trouble?”
“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
“Went away?”
“They disappeared.”
“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
“How do I tell?”
“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
“What’s a sea-prompt?”
“Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
“What’s a monitor?”
“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
…..”Yes, I think so.”
“Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
…..”Yes, it is.”
“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
“No.”
“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
…..”Okay, here it is.”
“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach it.”
“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
“No.”
“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
“Well, turn on the office light then.”
“I can’t.”
“No? Why not?”
“Because there’s a power outage.”
“A power… A power outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
“Well, yes. I keep them in the closet.”
“Good! Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
“Really! Is it that bad?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”

[GreyGeek]

Here is one from CompuServe, perhaps the original "too stupid to use a computer":

http://web.archive.org/web/199702090...uble-with.html

[MadMage999]

[MadMage999]

Here is one from CompuServe, perhaps the original "too stupid to use a computer":

http://www.progress.demon.co.uk/Fun/Trouble-with.html

Looks like a dead link.

[GreyGeek]

Looks like a dead link.

Opps! Wrong link. The real one is from the Internet Archive. Fixed the link.

Thanks for the catch!

[vinnywright]

My favorite, from 21 years ago:

“Word Perfect Technical support; may I help you?” “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
“What sort of trouble?”
“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
“Went away?”
“They disappeared.”
“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
“How do I tell?”
“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
“What’s a sea-prompt?”
“Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
“What’s a monitor?”
“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
…..”Yes, I think so.”
“Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
…..”Yes, it is.”
“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
“No.”
“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
…..”Okay, here it is.”
“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach it.”
“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
“No.”
“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
“Well, turn on the office light then.”
“I can’t.”
“No? Why not?”
“Because there’s a power outage.”
“A power… A power outage? Aha!

Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
“Well, yes. I keep them in the closet.”
“Good! Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
“Really! Is it that bad?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”

when it got to the “Because there’s a power outage.” the beer came out my nose ,,,,,

you guys made my night .

VINNY

[MadMage999]

Opps! Wrong link. The real one is from the Internet Archive. Fixed the link.

Thanks for the catch!

That looks like the same one you had already copy/pasted?

[GreyGeek]

That looks like the same one you had already copy/pasted?

Except that if you click on it you are taken to the 1997 page in the WayBack Machine (Internet Archives) of a similar version.

[jlittle]

That report has long passed into legend, and I'd be sceptical if I hadn't had a similar phone support conversation in my first job. I had to trick the person on the end of the call into powering on his printer; he had sworn emphatically it was on.

[Qqmike]

Vinny: when it got to the “Because there’s a power outage.” the beer came out my nose ,,,,,
you guys made my night .

I decided to wait to have my first beer until I get this posted ...

Too Stupid to Own a Computer
Did a Microsoft employee tell a customer he was 'too stupid to own a computer'?
Status: False.

The WordPerfect “too stupid” tale is arguably the most well-loved stupid user tale of all time. This charming anecdote has been kicking around on the Internet since approximately 1996, and it has morphed into a number of variations ...Ah, but was this a true story? Well, sort of, but not quite — the “true” stuff ended with the tech’s discovering that he was dealing with a user who was attempting to access a computer during a power outage. Everything from that point on is what he wished he could have said but wisely kept to himself.

“Stupid computer user” stories abound, and the genre is so well stocked that it would be impossible to give more than a brief overview of the more common tales:

• Attempting to use the mouse as a footpedal.
• Holding a document up to the screen, thinking the monitor will somehow scan and fax it.
• Attaching floppy diskettes to the side of a metal filing cabinet with magnets.
• Using the CD-ROM drive as a cupholder.
• Failing to find the “any” key when instructions call for “strike any key.”
• Picking up the mouse, pointing it at the screen, and clicking it as if it were a remote control.
• Photocopying a diskette when asked to make a copy.
• Unplugging something vital to the computer’s operation to free the outlet for a tea kettle or toaster, causing a company-wide server crash day after day.

Of course, all this from
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/word-imperfect/

[Qqmike]

Well, I'm sure there are many and better sites, but from this one,
https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/55-geeky-line-jokes/
I clipped three geeky one-liners:

The box said ‘Requires Windows Vista or better’. So I installed LINUX.

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint… “I understand”, says the bartender – and pours two pints.

OK, that's does it, time for that first beer tonight. Here's to ya, Vinny!

[vinnywright]

OK, that's does it, time for that first beer tonight. Here's to ya, Vinny!

thanks for that link ,,,,,like it , and 2 of my favs from that list

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d.
and
My daily Unix command list: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.

,,,, dose that make me a perv .

VINNY