Japan is still there...

[Simon]

Yes, I made it back from Japan, on Friday... come to think of it I had 2 Fridays this week?? International dateline WHY?!!

I came home and the birds are alive. That must mean Frank and Ashley kept them fed and watered. But I see that people don't READ my Facebook, 78 texts and voice mails? REALLY? Most of them asking me about my trip WTF And no, I don't have my phone linked up to my Facebook thank God! I know I wrote it down on Facebook, "For those of you who have my cell number, I am turning it off and leaving it home.".

Frank and Ashley did a fine job taking care of the place, but I believe they missed the BIG note on my fridge saying, "Take or Drink the Milk". I come back and all 5 bottles of my beer are gone and the milk is still there. Maybe they thought I wrote Molson and not Milk? I spoke to Frank on the phone, he said, "Oh I don't drink milk.". What about my beers? his reply, "Oh yah, I drink beer."

After cleaning the fridge, tossing the milk, I went for a walk and got more beer.

[whatthefunk]

Where did you go in Japan?

[xennex81]

"Oh I don't drink milk.". What about my beers? his reply, "Oh yah, I drink beer."

Hahaha, that's LIFE man, enjoy it .

From the sounds of it you went to mainland Japan (honshuu) not Okinawa or Hokkaido.

[Simon]

I left August 2nd for what was probably the last visit with my parents. I spent almost two weeks in Imizu, Japan. My plans were to have some quality time with my mother and attempt to mend broken fences with my father. The last time I was there back in 2002 for about 3 months, he had told me that should I return to Canada, remain in Canada... well I think you know the old story. I hold no ill will against Japan, the fact is, my parents raised me here and not there.

I booked a hotel to avoid being a burden to them, the hotel had crappy wifi. For what I paid, I must have "all day sucker" written on my face. My father was gone for the first 2 days of my stay but I am thinking it was work related. Meanwhile my mother was been parading "potential brides" into her house, just for me, complete with interviews. She introduced them as her friends, but they were all closer to my age and some far too young in my opinion. I tried to explain to my mother, I didn't come here to get a bride. My mother gave up on girl hunting or the well ran dry. I told her I am happy just as I am, then she asked if I liked men... ugh!

I doubt I will be seeing them again in this lifetime. It took a lot of effort just to make it half way around the planet and they are not getting any younger. On the bright side, I actually went fishing with "dad" and his buddies, for the first time ever. But it was not exactly the father and son outing you would imagine. It was on a boat with many nets and lots of cussing at each other in Japanese. Better than what I expected, but far removed from cold beers and fishing poles by a river. I really don't know, the mental picture my father has of me. He still is very much the same "stranger" to me that he was when we lived together here in Canada.

It was a weird two weeks.

[whatthefunk]

Interesting. A lot of Japanese people seem to have similar relationships with their fathers. Dad is there, at least sometimes, and he is respected by all, but he remains a shadowy figure who everybody has kind of given up on.

[Simon]

Bingo! When I was a teenager, my friends fathers played a more pivotal role in my life than my own father. I am closer to my mom. I admit some of the things I chose to do, after I was 16, didn't set well with my father. It was at 16 he told us the plant would shut down the Canadian division and we were to prepare to move back to Japan. I was born in London, Canada. Nothing against Japan, nice place to visit, wouldn't want to live there. I convinced mom to talk him into allowing us to stay until I finished my education. He agreed but what he didn't know is I meant just until I finish my doctorate.

Roughly 18 months later, he expected both of us on a flight to Japan. I took a job, sent my mother home, and rented a room from a good friend. Also, I took my nick name "Simon" and made it my legal first name. I think he mainly disliked the fact he couldn't manipulate and control me anymore. For years I never spoke much on the phone to him because he avoided talking to me. I kept calling and letting mom know how I was doing. He got on the phone once and told me how Canadian I sounded. It was meant to be an insult, I told him I am a very proud Canadian. More than once they have expressed "concern" over who I am dating. Heaven forbid I marry a non-Japanese! To be honest, I am so far removed from that society, I would never "fit in". I am still very young (35 going on 36 in October) I figure I can settle down in my 40s and start a family.

Monday my mom sent me more wedding photos of my cousin's ceremony in Japan. LOL

[GreyGeek]

Your father-son relationship brought back memories. The last time I saw my father while he was alive I was visiting my sister. He showed up at her house, walked in, sat down beside me and started talking like we strangers, which was almost true, but seemed strange. About fine minutes later he got up and went into the kitchen and asked my sister who I was. When he came back and sat down we resumed talking but this time he acted like we knew each other. That was in 1987. He died 7 years later at the age of 94. I attended my step mother's funeral, but not his. There was nothing there to motivate a 500 mile trip.

[oshunluvr]

Wow, Jerry and Simon; those descriptions make my relationship with my father seem super-close - which we weren't. Kind of changes my perspective.

We saw each other every few years and more often when he finally retired for real (69) and my daughter came home. After that, he would visit us once or twice a year to see his only granddaughter and enjoy the Southern California summers. Avoiding the Kansas City summer heat and humidity and being at sea level helped him breathe (lung cancer survivor). He and I never really related on any level and he had no use for children when I was one. It felt it impossible to build a relationship foundation when the first 25 years he mostly ignored me. Still, it could have been much worse. I have four kids and they all know their father very well.

Thanks for sharing, you guys.

[GreyGeek]

.... I have four kids and they all know their father very well.

My dad's father-son talk consisted of a single sentence: "If you get thrown in jail don't call me."

I used him a a negative roll model with my own son. We did everything together that I could think of. Before he started school he and I watched every NASA launch on TV, regardless of the hour. I taught him to shoot and fish and we went hunting and fishing together. I was his cub scout and boy scout master. I introduced him to SciFi and treated him to the joys of Mozart, Liszt, etc.... No topic was off limits for discussion. We enjoyed Star Wars, Jaws, and several other big movie hits. He got a math degree from UNL and was in the military for 15 years until his mitral valve broke down. When he returned to Lincoln we started up again. We have been and will always be best friends. We often baby sitted his son, who is now nine, and he and I would go on nature walks. I'd identify plants, animals and insects, rock formations and fossils, etc..., and taught him how to draw perspective. He makes great drawing of sharks and has decided he will be a marine biologist, but time will tell. This summer he, his mom and dad went to Galveston for a vacation and his dad took him deep sea fishing. He caught a 5' black tipped reef shark. He's been hooked on fishing every since. Now that's all he wants to do! I taught him my Bass fishing technique a couple months ago and since then he has never been skunked. When kids his age are pulling out 4 and 5 inch Bluegill and such he's pulling out 2, 3, 4 and nearly 5 lb Bass. Then they crowd around were he was and he goes where they were and pulls out another Bass!

Well, enough bragging...