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Now, a word from a parrot!

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    Now, a word from a parrot!

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

    Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

    Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

    For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
    Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

    Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

    John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

    As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour,
    the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"


    HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
    "A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.”
    – John F. Kennedy, February 26, 1962.

    #2
    hehehe. Happy Thanksgiving to you also.
    Windows no longer obstructs my view.
    Using Kubuntu Linux since March 23, 2007.
    "It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data." - Sherlock Holmes

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      #3
      LOL

      me and the wife just got a kick out of this one .....................thanks

      VINNY
      i7 4core HT 8MB L3 2.9GHz
      16GB RAM
      Nvidia GTX 860M 4GB RAM 1152 cuda cores

      Comment


        #4
        hahaha, good one. Thanks for the laugh.

        Comment


          #5
          we dont have thanksgiving in the UK but that did make me chuckle ...
          Hope this helps. Steve ...
          Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, except bad news.
          Shuttle XS35 - Intel Atom 1.6 - 4GB Ram - 500GB HDD - Linux Kubuntu

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            #6
            Lol

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by MrSteve View Post
              we dont have thanksgiving in the UK
              And no July 4th, either.

              BA-DUM!

              Comment


                #8
                Or not even a constitution

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Teunis View Post
                  Or not even a constitution
                  Having a heavily infringed Constitution is not much better than no Constitution.
                  "A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.”
                  – John F. Kennedy, February 26, 1962.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Take your pick:



                    Comment


                      #11
                      Good one GG -- thanks!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Well, this will just expose how much the U.S. Navy imbibed of alcohol when we were helod off ship to DaNang.............

                        I was sitting in the officers quonset, not because I was an ossifer, but because I had a college degree and the ossifers gave me their work and "put the word around" that I had "ossifer priveleges". one day.........

                        this is in the day of the "S#@T" can being burned "down wind"..........but as with all government operations........the smell "wafted back south".............

                        I hated stirring the cans...........and I was Navy.........

                        ANYway...............

                        After I got off "s#&$t"can duty I headed to the bar..................it was actually a quonset hut that had been made into a bar....

                        I, personally, even then drank "the James Bond martini"........I actually READ STUFF even when I was a kid.....

                        And about that week the USO had heloed in to DaNang a "piece"................NO WE WILL NOT GO THERE!!!!!

                        But it was a piano player and a singer...........they were ok.........you gotta remember the whole USO thing.........

                        the "go-go" girls in the white dresses and boots ............jumpy up and downy...........

                        But........after the USO thing...........I was sitting in the bar and it turned out that the act had a "parrot".........

                        It didn't do much ...it sat on a stand and just kind of stared at people.

                        Well, about the second or third night a guy came into the quonset and declared in a loud voice that he would buy drinks for the bar and laid his wallet down on the bar and ....

                        of course we all gave him a rousing cheer!!! duuuhhh...........drunk marines and sailors!!

                        After a while the parrot, which had a wont to fly about the place and perch onpeoples shouders flew about...........

                        and grabbed the guys wallet and FLEW AWAY!!

                        The guy vocifersously complains to the bartender who said: "The parrot is part of the act, go tell the piano player".

                        So the guy huffily goes to the piano player and says:

                        "HEY!! Do you know your parrot flew off with my wallet!!??"

                        And the piano player replies:

                        "No but if you'll hum a few bars I think I can play a little of it."

                        woodunderthetablesmoke
                        Last edited by woodsmoke; Nov 27, 2014, 01:50 AM.

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                          #13
                          Neither does Spotify return anything

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by woodsmoke View Post
                            ....

                            "HEY!! Do you know your parrot flew off with my wallet!!??"

                            And the piano player replies:

                            "No but if you'll hum a few bars I think I can play a little of it."

                            woodunderthetablesmoke
                            "A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.”
                            – John F. Kennedy, February 26, 1962.

                            Comment

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