Take a humor break! "Food for thought..."

[GreyGeek]

FOOD FOR THOUGHT...................

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work
itself out.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. so true!

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone..... That's common sense leaving your body.

I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

****I didn't make it to the gym again today. That makes five years in a row.

**** I decided to stop calling the bathroom the John. I renamed it Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this
morning.

To the paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one.....what's your plan

[notabug]

+1

[MoonRise]

+1 too

[bsniadajewski]

Here's one -- "To me "drink responsibly" means don't spill it."

I see those a lot on FB. LMAO

[woodsmoke]

lol
woodsmoke

[oshunluvr]

I stole these:

• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
• I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
• Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

[Qqmike]

Yeah, me, too. I just stole yours, along with GG's list.
:-)

[HalationEffect]

Whatever you do in life, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood...

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond - but by the end you wish you had a club and a spade.

"No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.

I have so much debt, I can start a government.

I get my cereal from a tiger, insurance from a gecko, toilet paper from a bear, financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

I have the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.