I'm back...if anyone cares!

[bsniadajewski]

My sympathies. Am in a similar situation with my mother. Dad is the primary care-giver luckily. Round the clock 24/7 care. Even trivial things like getting out to buy groceries, pickup medication can be difficult. Heck its tough to get privy time for that matter! Hang in there.

I can relate. My grandparents are in a somewhat reverse situation. My grandfather's mental health is slowly deteriorating (dementia and early Alzheimer's). He can still recognize us, for now, but he seems to get confused allot. It is getting difficult on my grandma to take care of him and herself as well. We just installed LifeLine for her, in case something happens to her and no one elseis around to help.

[Qqmike]

Heck yes we care! ;-) What do ya mean, 'if anyone cares' ... :-)

I have thought about you from time to time since you left. Hi! And welcome back!

I can relate to the "aging-and-death" discussion as I've seen many friends go through it. (My wife is overseas with her mom at this moment, Asian, age 93, failing fast.) Got one buddy, my age (64), who has gone through what you are going through SIX times (different relatives--parents, an aunt, and his older brother who had Parkinson's). I have seen many elderly neighbor's go through their decline and death. I have not yet personally had to be the caregiver for anyone. We do have several friends who are professional caregivers, and, again, their personal, detailed, daily experiences have served to educate me on the issues.

All this made me curious and interested in the subject of how exactly do we die, what happens, what can we expect, and especially so after seeing a related PBS special on this guy, and so I got his book:

How We Die: Reflections of Life's Final Chapter, New Edition
http://www.amazon.com/How-We-Die-Ref...rds=How+we+die

By well-known surgeon Sherwin Nuland. Very interesting and in a strange way, reassuring.

Anyway, DoYouKubuntu, again, good to see you back here. I hope you stay.

[DoYouKubuntu]

I can relate. My grandparents are in a somewhat reverse situation. My grandfather's mental health is slowly deteriorating (dementia and early Alzheimer's). He can still recognize us, for now, but he seems to get confused allot. It is getting difficult on my grandma to take care of him and herself as well. We just installed LifeLine for her, in case something happens to her and no one elseis around to help.

It's extraordinarily draining when you're dealing with a person who is mentally confused. So I feel for your grandmother. It's really good that she has LifeLine now, because you never know when something might happen--to either of them--requiring aid.

I'd like to suggest that you make the most of this time while your grandpa still recognizes you. My mom is fading in and out as far as that goes. The other day I was feeding her, and she said "I wish I could talk to Grace just one more time..." and I asked why. She said "because I ALWAYS loved her." And she was sad, sad... I asked her "who am I?" and she looked me in the eye and said "I have no idea." Five minutes later, I was sitting near her crocheting, and she started talking "Grace, do you think we can go downstairs now?" (She thinks we're at the Pechanga hotel, and the casino is downstairs.) So there's really no way to know from one moment to the next...nor can we predict when or if she'll permanently be in a state of not recognizing us. Grasp the opportunity to talk to your grandfather while he still knows you're you.

[DoYouKubuntu]

Heck yes we care! ;-) What do ya mean, 'if anyone cares' ... :-)

Thanks, Qq.

I have thought about you from time to time since you left. Hi! And welcome back!

I feel like I'm home now. Last year was so tumultuous, for a variety of reasons, and I found that I just didn't have the energy to interact online like I normally did. I had been super active on Twitter, then basically just stopped. Forums I was very active on fell by the wayside. It was like one crisis after another in real life, and there was nothing left for the virtual world.

Early last year my best friend--who is 3,000 miles away--became deathly ill following 'minor' surgery. She ended up spending a total of > 100 days in the hospital, had multiple operations, and it was truly touch and go. Because of my own health issues, combined with not being able to leave my mom, I couldn't go cross country to be with her, so every time she went into surgery I had to rely on updates from her mother and daughter. She's fine now, but it was awful. And she barely was back on her feet when my mom became bedridden.

I can relate to the "aging-and-death" discussion as I've seen many friends go through it. (My wife is overseas with her mom at this moment, Asian, age 93, failing fast.) Got one buddy, my age (64), who has gone through what you are going through SIX times (different relatives--parents, an aunt, and his older brother who had Parkinson's). I have seen many elderly neighbor's go through their decline and death. I have not yet personally had to be the caregiver for anyone. We do have several friends who are professional caregivers, and, again, their personal, detailed, daily experiences have served to educate me on the issues.

All this made me curious and interested in the subject of how exactly do we die, what happens, what can we expect, and especially so after seeing a related PBS special on this guy, and so I got his book:

How We Die: Reflections of Life's Final Chapter, New Edition
http://www.amazon.com/How-We-Die-Ref...rds=How+we+die

By well-known surgeon Sherwin Nuland. Very interesting and in a strange way, reassuring.

Just this morning one of the hospice nurses gave me a booklet called "Gone from my sight: The dying experience," by Barbara Karnes, RN. He said that it would be helpful in preparing for the inevitable, and he reminded me that he and the other hospice folks are always available. Mom's temperature has been steadily decreasing over the last week, and the nurse acknowledged that that's a pretty reliable sign that the end is near. The thing is, my mother has surprised us all before, so you just never know.

Anyway, DoYouKubuntu, again, good to see you back here. I hope you stay.

Thanks.

Believe it or not, there is one really cool thing that's happened lately! The latest edition of the technology textbook that I licensed the rights to use one of my designs in was published, and my complimentary copy came in February. I'm really pleased with what they did! If anyone wants to see a page I put up about it, it's here.

[bweinel]

Welcome back... All the best to you and your mom. Its tough to see someone you really care about going downhill and being unable to do anything about it. However, just being there with her is probably the best medicine you can provide.

I lost my mom about five years ago to cancer after a five month struggle, so I know how it feels. My Dad is 88 going on 89 this year ..but in relative good health so far. However I know it's just a matter of time.

Hang in there.

cheers,
Bill

[DoYouKubuntu]

Welcome back... All the best to you and your mom. Its tough to see someone you really care about going downhill and being unable to do anything about it. However, just being there with her is probably the best medicine you can provide.

Thanks, Bill.

I lost my mom about five years ago to cancer after a five month struggle, so I know how it feels. My Dad is 88 going on 89 this year ..but in relative good health so far. However I know it's just a matter of time.

Mom's 89...and likely won't see 90 in July. She was blessed with good health all her life--she's really never had anything seriously wrong. Yet here she is... Two years ago my dad (technically my father-in-law), who was just shy of his 86th birthday, fell and broke his hip. Although he had been diabetic for many years, he was fit, in good shape, kept his diabetes under control, and was strong and active up until the moment he fell. They fixed the hip, then he was hospitalized for an infection. My brother-in-law was with him when he was taken downstairs for a CT scan, and brought back to his room; they got him into bed...and he died. He was DNR so they did nothing. It was completely out of the blue and blindsided all of us. I can't overstate how important it is to make good use of this time while your dad is still healthy and alert, because you literally don't know when everything might change.

Hang in there.

Thanks--I'm trying...really hard!

[bsniadajewski]

It's extraordinarily draining when you're dealing with a person who is mentally confused. So I feel for your grandmother. It's really good that she has LifeLine now, because you never know when something might happen--to either of them--requiring aid.

I'd like to suggest that you make the most of this time while your grandpa still recognizes you. My mom is fading in and out as far as that goes. The other day I was feeding her, and she said "I wish I could talk to Grace just one more time..." and I asked why. She said "because I ALWAYS loved her." And she was sad, sad... I asked her "who am I?" and she looked me in the eye and said "I have no idea." Five minutes later, I was sitting near her crocheting, and she started talking "Grace, do you think we can go downstairs now?" (She thinks we're at the Pechanga hotel, and the casino is downstairs.) So there's really no way to know from one moment to the next...nor can we predict when or if she'll permanently be in a state of not recognizing us. Grasp the opportunity to talk to your grandfather while he still knows you're you.

Oh, yes. I will continue to do so. Every Sunday after mass (even on some Saturdays) our family stops over at my grandparents for coffee (I don't drink any though) and some sort of treat (cookies, brownies, pastries, etc.) and visit. The time I spend there is definitely worth it.

[vinnywright]

Your memory is really good! Yes, I was distro hopping--sort of. I was looking for a lightweight Linux for my old laptop, and in the process tried a number of distros [on my new laptop] that weren't lightweight, just to see what they were like compared to Kubuntu. I remember liking Fedora a lot. I ran all of them live; Kubuntu was, and is, my 'real' OS. Except on my old laptop--thanks to my pal oshunluvr's suggestion, I tried Bodhi Linux and was just amazed. I had upgraded Kubuntu one too many times on that old laptop, and it simply wasn't up to it--it ran like frozen molasses. Bodhi resurrected it, making it run like it's brand new. It's fast and responsive and great.

LOL.......yes Bodhi is nice for older hardware & as we know @oshunluvr is a great source of pertinent info
again nice to see you back

VINNY

[Snowhog]

Hey everybody. After a bit of a break I'm back. Don't know if anyone cares or noticed I was gone, but whatever.

We miss all our members when they go on hiatus. Welcome back.

[GreyGeek]

Welcome home!

[SteveRiley]

Yay! During my recent absence, I found myself thinking about others who've been away for a while, and you were certainly a part of that. It's good to be back, and it's especially good that you're back, too. I'm happy to know that you've repaired your strained relationship. Now don't spend too much time here during her final days -- make the most of the time you have left.

[DoYouKubuntu]

We miss all our members when they go on hiatus. Welcome back.

Thanks, Snowhog. Glad to be back.

[DoYouKubuntu]

Welcome home!

Hi, GG! Thanks for the welcome home.

[DoYouKubuntu]

Yay! During my recent absence, I found myself thinking about others who've been away for a while, and you were certainly a part of that. It's good to be back, and it's especially good that you're back, too. I'm happy to know that you've repaired your strained relationship. Now don't spend too much time here during her final days -- make the most of the time you have left.

Thanks so much, Steve.

I'm trying to focus on being grateful that Mom and I had the time we did (a little less than a year) with our new relationship, rather than feeling cheated that she's about to be taken away after such a short time with it. It's hard, though.

So you were away, too? Care to fill me in on the hows/whys/whens of it all? Whatever, I hope you're okay and I'm glad we're both here again.

It was weird the way I ended up coming back here. I hadn't been posting anywhere, then late last year when I got a new Android phone [a Motorola Atrix 2] I had some questions/observations about its differences from my previous phone [Motorola Atrix 4G], so I went to Android Forums, where I'd never been particularly active in the past, to post. Next thing I know I was posting and interacting a lot. (I'm happy to say that I've converted several people over there to Kubuntu--including now-FORMER windows users. ) Anyway, one day someone mentioned that Kubuntu had been abandoned by Canonical, and I HONESTLY had forgotten all about that. Then one thing led to another and I said to myself, KUBUNTU FORUMS YOU MORON!! Get back over there! So here I am.

[DoYouKubuntu]

Nice to see you back and hear of your resolution of old pains.

Thanks, Teunis.

My mother passed away in 1979 at the age of 56, last week we celebrated the 98th birthday of my mother in law, I see it as a great privilege to have one of her generation around!

Wow, 98! That's great, and yes, it is a privilege to have someone of her age in your life. Here's to your MIL seeing her 100th birthday.

BTW, your avatar still drives me nuts! I reflexively find myself wanting to swat at my screen, even though I KNOW it's not on my side of the screen.