I'm in Orlando for a cloud computing event, giving my usual keynote presentation tomorrow morning. In a highly unusual move, I've switched on the television in my hotel room as I slog through some room service grub. What I witness is truly, truly depressing.
First, an animated commercial starring blue bears discussing toilet paper. I see a close-up of what appears to be a baby bear's face, first in ecstasy and then shock as the mother bear calls from (presumably) downstairs, "You aren't using too much, are you?" The camera pulls back, and I see baby bear squatting on a toilet, surrounded by many many feet of unrolled paper. Baby bear proceeds to respond entirely as expected: with a big fat lie. "No!" he squeaks. The scene cuts to when after baby bear has rerolled the paper, and he gently removes only about two feet and cuddles it next to his face.
Question: does bear-fondled toilet paper demand a price premium? How much more would you pay?
Next, an ad for a stiffie pill. These appear to have toned themselves down a bit; at least the innuendo is less redonkulous.
Finally, an ad for a pill intended for those suffering from "Low T," apparently street slang for low testosterone. The narrator speaks over a visual showing a cluster of middle age guys waiting at a bus stop. WTF? How am I supposed to interpret this? Does riding a bus cause a person's testosterone to plunge, or is it an effect? Actually, I think the imagery is exactly wrong. Consider how the average city bus is constructed: with seats that face each other, highly reflective windows, and stripper poles, it's obvious that public transportation is designed to get you laid!
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Anywayz...gotta be up at 7:00 AM EST (which to my body clock is 4:00 AM), so it's time to go night-night. Just as soon as I throw this stupid TV out the window. Ugh.
First, an animated commercial starring blue bears discussing toilet paper. I see a close-up of what appears to be a baby bear's face, first in ecstasy and then shock as the mother bear calls from (presumably) downstairs, "You aren't using too much, are you?" The camera pulls back, and I see baby bear squatting on a toilet, surrounded by many many feet of unrolled paper. Baby bear proceeds to respond entirely as expected: with a big fat lie. "No!" he squeaks. The scene cuts to when after baby bear has rerolled the paper, and he gently removes only about two feet and cuddles it next to his face.
Question: does bear-fondled toilet paper demand a price premium? How much more would you pay?
Next, an ad for a stiffie pill. These appear to have toned themselves down a bit; at least the innuendo is less redonkulous.
Finally, an ad for a pill intended for those suffering from "Low T," apparently street slang for low testosterone. The narrator speaks over a visual showing a cluster of middle age guys waiting at a bus stop. WTF? How am I supposed to interpret this? Does riding a bus cause a person's testosterone to plunge, or is it an effect? Actually, I think the imagery is exactly wrong. Consider how the average city bus is constructed: with seats that face each other, highly reflective windows, and stripper poles, it's obvious that public transportation is designed to get you laid!
---
Anywayz...gotta be up at 7:00 AM EST (which to my body clock is 4:00 AM), so it's time to go night-night. Just as soon as I throw this stupid TV out the window. Ugh.
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