We had several relatives over for lunch yesterday, and one of them did something she's notorious for doing--disregarded my EXPLICIT request that she bring nothing but herself, and came armed with assorted food, including a big casserole of macaroni and cheese. Great, except that I REALLY and TRULY did not want anyone bringing anything, as I already had the meal planned out--and its Mexican theme left no room for mac & cheese. 
A few days earlier she called and asked "do you like carrot cake?", and I said, yeah, I love carrot cake, then she said "okay I'll bring one!" I said, VERY CLEARLY, no, I already have dessert planned, please don't bring ANYTHING, just bring yourself.
As I said, she's notorious for doing this, and I'm not the only one annoyed by it. My sister told me that she's gotten really irritated when this relative has pulled the same thing at gatherings she and her husband hosted, and she was as pissed as I was yesterday. I didn't SHOW it--I tried to phrase it as politely as possible, but I basically said "I TOLD you not to bring anything!
" You know, like not in an angry way, but still truthful.
My question is, what would you do in a similar situation? Bearing in mind that I was ultra-explicit about saying not to bring any food. Honestly, I find it insulting, although I'm POSITIVE that that's not at all how it's intended. But it hits me that way, like she has to bring something in case there's not enough food for everybody or the food isn't edible. (No, she's not vegetarian, but everybody knows everything in this house is.)
By the way, I made my famous killer fajitas (they're simply a foolproof, guaranteed success), served with avocado slices and chopped tomato, along with [vegetarian, of course] refried beans, then had pound cake with warm blueberry compote on top for dessert. YUM!
A few days earlier she called and asked "do you like carrot cake?", and I said, yeah, I love carrot cake, then she said "okay I'll bring one!" I said, VERY CLEARLY, no, I already have dessert planned, please don't bring ANYTHING, just bring yourself. As I said, she's notorious for doing this, and I'm not the only one annoyed by it. My sister told me that she's gotten really irritated when this relative has pulled the same thing at gatherings she and her husband hosted, and she was as pissed as I was yesterday. I didn't SHOW it--I tried to phrase it as politely as possible, but I basically said "I TOLD you not to bring anything!
" You know, like not in an angry way, but still truthful.My question is, what would you do in a similar situation? Bearing in mind that I was ultra-explicit about saying not to bring any food. Honestly, I find it insulting, although I'm POSITIVE that that's not at all how it's intended. But it hits me that way, like she has to bring something in case there's not enough food for everybody or the food isn't edible.
(No, she's not vegetarian, but everybody knows everything in this house is.)By the way, I made my famous killer fajitas (they're simply a foolproof, guaranteed success), served with avocado slices and chopped tomato, along with [vegetarian, of course] refried beans, then had pound cake with warm blueberry compote on top for dessert. YUM!
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