Can anyone guess what my big news is?

[SteveRiley]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

Again, now I can barely recall what it was like, but when I find myself thinking "oh I feel so exhausted today!" I stop and remind myself that this is NOTHING compared to that.

When people experience real trauma, it certainly adjusts their overall long-term perceptions. The older I get, the more I come to value challenging experiences. Trial by fire, and all that. You've demonstrated amazing alacrity.

That's sad and unfortunate, but I get the feeling she loved you very much.

I would hope. We lived 600 miles away in Virginia until I was 9, at which time my parents wanted to move back home -- home being Ohio. I never saw my grandparents much even after the relocation. From what I hear, my grandmother was quite the debater, able to take either side of any issue and demolish her opponent. I'm sure I would have enjoyed sparring with her

[arochester]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

I've been disabled since 2003. Haven't worked since then!

Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt. Brain haemorrhage Sunday 12th March 2000 aged 47. Brain surgery twice.

There's a PROFOUND exhaustion that happens to some people post-brain surgery

Yes, 11 years and counting...

No time to experience having any trouble, like Jill Taylor and others. One moment cutting grass, next moment 3 weeks later in hospital.

From the photograph it looks like stitches. I got metal staples!

[DoYouKubuntu]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

I've been disabled since 2003. Haven't worked since then!

Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt. Brain haemorrhage Sunday 12th March 2000 aged 47. Brain surgery twice.

I'm sorry. It sucks, huh? It's kind of funny--in a weird way--that something so awful and with such debilitating after effects is a necessary evil. I mean, if given the choice between still having the brain tumor, and everything that went along with that, or dealing with the consequences of the surgery to remove it, I'd pick the latter hands down. But it still sucks!

There's a PROFOUND exhaustion that happens to some people post-brain surgery

Yes, 11 years and counting...

Yours hasn't improved? I don't know if we're talking about the same thing...I can't even imagine living with it for 11 years. Mine physically incapacitated me. I couldn't walk more than a few feet, had to go to doctor appointments in a wheelchair, could barely eat (chewing literally wore me out), couldn't brush my hair, and so on. Thank goodness mine gradually decreased. At six months post-op I drove [for the first time in 9 months] myself to see two of my doctors and felt like I'd just won the lottery! It took a few days to recuperate from the effort, but it was so worth it.

What do your docs say about your exhaustion? Are they helpful at all?

No time to experience having any trouble, like Jill Taylor and others. One moment cutting grass, next moment 3 weeks later in hospital.

Wow. That must have been awful. Did you know you had lost time, or at first were you just unaware of that concept?

From the photograph it looks like stitches. I got metal staples!

Yes indeed, stitches. Weren't they pretty? They looked great with that tres chic hairdo I had.

Is your head still numb at and near the incision area? Mine is. I was told that would gradually go away, as the paralysis and other issues would, but it didn't. It's certainly not a big deal, it's just that it feels...so strange.

[arochester]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

Yours hasn't improved? I don't know if we're talking about the same thing...I can't even imagine living with it for 11 years. Mine physically incapacitated me.

I didn't suffer paralysis. The effect was mostly mental - memory loss, concentration, attention span, fatigue and loss of energy. (OK got heart problems now, angina and palpitations.) I have no stamina. Mental exertion is as bad as physical exertion. So on Kubuntu Forums I manage with short and simple questions which need short and simple answers! There's no more medical treatment, it just is.

I just have no memory of three weeks.

I have no numbness. Occasionally when I get my hair cut I will explain the scars. Barbers will gingerly cut the hair on top of my head. Shh! The incision was just above my spinal column at the back...

I was told that would gradually go away, as the paralysis and other issues would, but it didn't.

My eyesight changed. I had the same prescription for about 14 years previously. I was told that it would improve but it didn't. I had to get new spectacles.

One of the surgeons told my wife that it was a waiting game ---and could be a very long term waiting game --- to find out what the outcome is.

[DoYouKubuntu]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

Yours hasn't improved? I don't know if we're talking about the same thing...I can't even imagine living with it for 11 years. Mine physically incapacitated me.

I didn't suffer paralysis. The effect was mostly mental - memory loss, concentration, attention span, fatigue and loss of energy. (OK got heart problems now, angina and palpitations.) I have no stamina. Mental exertion is as bad as physical exertion. So on Kubuntu Forums I manage with short and simple questions which need short and simple answers! There's no more medical treatment, it just is.

I get it. I frequently say [on the forums] "I'm too lazy to do XYZ," but the truth is that I have to parcel out my energy so, as I've said elsewhere around these parts, if something's working I tend to just leave well enough alone. Prior to this little adventure I would have jumped at the chance to fiddle with things, take things apart, experiment, whatever, but now it's just not that important to me. (My poor mom is still running Kubuntu 9.04 on her computer! I'm too lazy...well, I just see no point wasting time and energy upgrading her when she wouldn't know or care about the difference anyway.) I totally get the memory issues, concentration and attention span issues, etc. Believe me, I feel for you.

I just have no memory of three weeks.

That must've been very odd.

I have no numbness. Occasionally when I get my hair cut I will explain the scars. Barbers will gingerly cut the hair on top of my head. Shh! The incision was just above my spinal column at the back...

You know, I meant to donate my hair to Locks of Love, but I totally forgot about it until it was too late. When you're going in for brain surgery, you tend to have other things on your mind. But later I really wished I had remembered. Oh well.

I was told that would gradually go away, as the paralysis and other issues would, but it didn't.

My eyesight changed. I had the same prescription for about 14 years previously. I was told that it would improve but it didn't. I had to get new spectacles.

One of the surgeons told my wife that it was a waiting game ---and could be a very long term waiting game --- to find out what the outcome is.

My eyesight changed, too. This was one of the things I'd been forewarned about, that there was a chance of double vision and/or other vision issues post-op. Sure enough, a day or so post-op double vision set in, along with just horrible eyesight. My team brought in an ophthalmologist who deals with brain surgery patients, and he--and the rest of the doctors--were certain that the problems would resolve with time. Well, the double vision did clear up for the most part (thank goodness), but my eyesight went down the toilet. I've put off going back to the ophthalmologist for what will be ANOTHER new prescription, because I hate paying for new lenses! But it's inevitable. I can't read books, magazines, letters, bills...nothing, without a magnifying glass. I feel like I'm 90.

[GreyGeek]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

How about this, DYK ....
In January you will undergo an operation to repair your inner ear and restore your sense of balance, but it may or may not work, and you won't know until after the operation?

[DoYouKubuntu]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

How about this, DYK ....
In January you will undergo an operation to repair your inner ear and restore your sense of balance, but it may or may not work, and you won't know until after the operation?

Good guess, GreyGeek (lots of "G"s!), but, alas, that's not it. My balance gradually improved as my left vestibular nerve took over for the missing right one. The hearing loss (due to damage to the auditory nerve from the tumor) is permanent, but I'm grateful I still have some hearing on that side. So, no, not looking at any future surgery for this issue.

[Qqmike]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

Interesting exchange about your health issues.

What I've found is that after a certain age--and advancing age isn't always the main factor--we all have a "list," a list of health "problems." (They are actually not problems any more than life is a problem.) The lists may be different, they may share certain entries, but nevertheless they are lists of personal challenges requiring what my dental hygienist recently re-framed as "tune-ups and repairs," a nice analogy.

Until age 50, I enjoyed so-called perfect health and had annual check-ups to show for it. Then a whole bunch of stuff came down. Thinking back to a young age, I recall not having a clue about any of the words "IV," surgery, catheter, eye procedures, cancer, resection, colonoscopy, endoscopy, and various other medical procedures. In fact, those words scared the sh* out of me. Not anymore. I respect what those words represent, but they don't frighten me now. You do build strength having to go through stuff. It's amazing what you really CAN do, what you can get through and survive, even when a priori you go into it with fear and little or no confidence. If you must do it, you will find you have the personal resources to do so.

I lost a lot of friends to disease early on, in their 40's, from things like esophagus cancer (when there was no history of smoking or drinking). Fluke events. Now, I know people my age with multiple issues. At age 55, the couple next door has each had open-heart surgery (a year apart), and she followed hers with a nice case of cancer, both surviving it all. A buddy down the street--a career RN--starting at age 45 placed on his "list" a heart stent, MS, and diabetes. I could go on and on, as I'm sure many of you can. The point is, you sure don't have to look very far to find examples of the human condition.

Is Woody Allen right about the meaning of life? We are all going to age, get sick, and die, and so that makes it all so absurd. Anyone who has been through a serious health issue can relate to this: Being in a state of relative comfort and acceptable functioning is a true pleasure in life, a luxury, in fact. People run around urgently seeking the purpose of life when just being able to enjoy a cup of tea while reading a book, relaxed in your home, is intrinsically meaningful.

[woodsmoke]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

I equate most of what woody allen says with what the first class said when our boot camp company was on the "grinder" for training in marching, handling a weapon etc.

Woody Allen:

We are all going to age, get sick, and die, and so that makes it all so absurd.

First Class:

Nice Guys finish LAST!!!

both were correct and they were also wrong.

I am a "nice guy" and I am "finishing last" because;

a) I did not lose most of my left hand in a knife fight(as a guy who beat me up in front of a teacher did....the teacher did nothing....two decades later the guy met me at a lumber company and as we were walking in..apologized because "you are a nice guy and I am not".)
b) I am still alive. Most of the "druggies", motorcyclers, and just plain "tough guys" from my class are dead or in jail.
c) I enjoy my life. Most of the "not nice guys" that still are alive are sitting back in that small town sucking a beer and shouting at their grand kids in pee-wee football and trying to re-live their grid iron glories.


There are basically two groups in the world. Optimists and pessimists. For the last several decades the pessimists have been dominant in the news, media and academia.

Faugh on them, they will be gone and I will be finishing last.

woodsmoke

[DoYouKubuntu]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

Qqmike and woodsmoke, you both make such good, and interesting, points. Thanks.

Qqmike, your good health when you were younger is in stark contrast to mine. I've spent so much of my life in doctors' offices, hospitals, labs, and operating rooms it's ridiculous. At 21 I was deathly ill (gyn issues), and spent a collective several months in hospitals, ending at 22 with a total abdominal hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (for the non-medical types, that's uterus plus Fallopian tubes and ovaries). When I recovered from that, which included losing a year out of my life, I thought "okay, this is the WORST thing that will ever happen to me, so pick yourself up and move on!" I did pick myself up, and I did move on. I went to college (pre-med) while my husband and I both worked and raised our daughter and ran a household. We took out no student loans; my husband worked two jobs at times so we could pay as I went. It was hard--talk about having a plate that's too full!--but I wouldn't change a moment of it, as it made me stronger. It was during that time period that I realized if presented with the tools (like good health) and opportunities, I was a workaholic! The years that followed saw periods of good health, during which I worked my ass off, but also periods of ill health, culminating in 2003 when I had to stop working. I NEVER thought I'd stop working in my 40s...I was such a workaholic, and really wondered "WHAT do people do who don't work?!", I planned to work well into my 70s, not out of financial necessity but because I WANTED to.

I've now had so many surgeries that I literally cannot remember them all. When I was hospitalized most recently, in July (not related at all to the brain tumor issue), nurse after nurse, doctor after doctor came in and wanted a run down on my previous illnesses and operations. Each time I had to say "I don't remember all the operations," and then I'd rattle off those I could think of.

You know what the most ironic part of all this is? I had PLANNED on spending tons of time in doctors' offices and hospitals--but not as a patient! I'd always intended to follow in my uncle's footsteps and be a physician--but we have UNIX to thank for my changing career paths. I'd decided to take a little time off before going to med school, and one thing led to another at the furniture store where I'd been doing data entry while in college, and I ended up self-teaching UNIX programming and system administration. As mentioned in an earlier post, I transitioned the company off their IBM System/3 mainframes and replaced them with a multi-location, multi-user UNIX system. I did all the programming myself--inventory, accounts payable, accounts receivable, general ledger, all of it, as well as installing and maintaining all hardware and peripherals. And I *LOVED* every second of it and decided "to hell with medical school!" I just decided that spending another 4 years in school PLUS 4-5 years in residency wasn't what I wanted any more. Thank you, UNIX!

Anyway, I see your point that many people end up with "a list" of health issues. My best friend developed a severe heart problem while in the Marines; she's been 100% disabled since her 20s because of it, and she's had a pacemaker since then. She wanted to be a career Marine. Like me, she has a laundry list of health problems other than her "main" one. In my family I'm almost the only one who's had a litany of serious health problems; my uncle, who died three years ago, was plagued by health problems including diabetes and renal failure. Ironically, he took TERRIBLE care of himself, indulging in food and drink and...well, prescription meds...that he shouldn't have--and he was a doctor! You'd think he'd know better. His wife died at 48. Just dropped dead one day. She had Lupus and asthma, but no one, including my uncle, expected her to drop dead. He came home from work one day and found her dead. My best friend's son--a seemingly healthy, robust soldier in the Army--died in April at 25. We were stunned...just stunned. The coroner's report indicates heart failure...but he had no history of heart problems, so I don't know.

woodsmoke, I'm very glad you didn't lose part of a hand! And that you're a nice guy, still living, and enjoying life. Sounds like you made some very good decisions along the way.

[Qqmike]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

a quick reply for now, on the run, maybe more later ...

@ Woodsmoke Just to be precise (the math guy that I am 8) ), and back to the Woody Allen quote,

--> We are all going to age, get sick, and die, and so that makes it all so absurd.

and your statement

--> There are basically two groups in the world. Optimists and pessimists. Et cetera.

I would make this distinction: The two issues of "pessimism vs optimism" and "the absurdity of life" are separate and independent ones, right? In particular, you can subscribe to Woody's quote and still be either a pessimist or an optimist.

[eggbert]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

I'm a pessimist. The "universe", IMHO, is cruel and malevolent. When most people look at the stars in the sky, are filled with wonder and amazement. Not me, I only see giant balls of hydrogen just waiting to go super nova and fry us with a gamma ray burst

The sad fact is that we are all just sacks of organic material with exceedingly short expiration dates. I find this INCREDIBLY depressing.

[dibl]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

You guys are talking about what the psychs call "explanatory style". Martin Seligman wrote a marvelous book on the topic, entitled Learned Optimism. I recommend it to those with a habitual gloomy outlook (eggbert).

[jpenguin]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

You inherited skynet and are considering activating it in January.

[DoYouKubuntu]

Re: Can anyone guess what my big news is?

You inherited skynet and are considering activating it in January.

Nope. Interesting guess, though.